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Quitting is *not* a bad thing. No, not the PhD. Well…maybe the PhD. That’s up to you. But I’m talking about *anything.* Is it really that big of a deal to quit anything, big or small? It’s a common saying that everyone thinks about quitting their PhD at least once. I definitely thought about it once…every day…for five years. That is completely okay. And while I ultimately didn’t quit the PhD (more on that in part 2), I am no stranger to quitting. I can’t even count how many experiments I quit, research projects I moved on from, events I stopped attending, cardio days I abandoned… We’re getting off track here. The question is whether quitting is a bad thing. This is a charged question. Quitting is a personal choice fueled by personal values and personal experiences, but I can share what I’ve learned in my personal journey with quitting, both during and after graduate school: No, quitting is not an inherently bad thing. The most important thing I want everyone to hear is that it’s okay to quit. Big or small, it doesn’t matter. It is okay to quit because quitting is not failing. Something I realized after graduate school was how intensely pass/fail evaluation is burned into my brain. Throughout all of schooling, we have tests and committee meetings and experiments that will all pass or fail, and these are how we measure success. Sometimes, as I experienced, they become how we measure our value as a person. Over my 21 years of being a student of some form or another, I started viewing everything as a test that I could either pass or fail, and quitting felt like the biggest failure there ever was. That is simply not true. Quitting is an opportunity. When we quit one thing, we are often intentionally making room for another. This could mean a new and exciting career, or it could simply mean gaining back time to rest and recharge. Quitting is also a healthy form of time management. It’s how we prioritize our workloads, responsibilities, and values. I used to play the piano, but I quit when it stopped providing a relaxing and creative outlet; it stopped being prioritized. But quitting piano as a hobby is easy. It’s low stakes. What about quitting an entire line of experiments? A lot of effort went into planning and preparing for them, and their results could have a substantial impact on the research as a whole. And what about quitting graduate school? What about leaving a program on which I built my entire life plan? That I spent my whole life working towards? Here’s the hot take: The time we put in doesn’t matter. All that matters is what we get out of it, and if the gains are not worth the costs, then maybe we need to consider a new way to use that time. Quitting is not an inherently bad thing. Many times, it’ll be the best thing we can do. The next question, then, is how do we know it’s time to quit? We’ll explore that in part 2, but for now, if you’re considering quitting something, just remember: it is okay to quit. Thank you to Ellen Wixted for sharing her story. If you'd like to submit a story or piece, anonymously or named, fill out our google form or email us at email@phdbalance.com

I will never forget my PhD journey in STEM, although it hasn’t ended yet. I still need to finish writing my dissertation and defend it. Everybody can agree that pursuing a doctoral degree in STEM is far more intense than any other academic journey before it. The years devoted to the PhD can become a plethora of adjectives. In other words, a roller-coaster of emotions and experiences. Although the previous could be a generalized feeling among all PhD students, every student has a unique story with different struggles and motivations. Here, I will narrate a little bit about my personal struggles and motivation to keep going. I want to start by acknowledging my ethnic and cultural background proudly. I was born and raised in Puerto Rico (a beautiful Archipelago in the Caribbean), and I identify as Afro-descendant. My PhD journey started with moving to the US while my family and friends stayed back home. My goal is to succeed academically and return to Puerto Rico. Once I started as a new PhD student with coursework, research, and meetings, I noticed how the graduate school atmosphere felt different from what I experienced during my Master’s back home. I never felt so alone while being in school. In this new academic environment, I felt out of place and developed self-doubt. I felt like I needed to do more work than my white men colleagues. Those with more self-confidence, comfortable with the language (while I am a native Spanish speaker), and less pressure to be perfect. I felt more competition between colleagues, rather than collaboration. All this happened during my first years into my PhD. Later, I started to experience what is now widely recognized in academia as the Impostor Syndrome. I experienced a lack of self-confidence more than ever in my career path as a scientist (environmental microbiologist). For me, it was an exhausting emotion. An emotion that made me question if I was doing what I really enjoyed and was good at. Unfortunately, I was processing this emotion simultaneously with the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic and the latest Black Lives Matter movement. For me, 2020 was a year full of uncertainty and fear. With its constant news and statistics, the pandemic was and still is overwhelming. Violent events and crude expressions of racism were, and still are, infuriating at the maximum level. All together, it was too much for me. I became obsessed with reading and watching the news. I felt helpless being away from home and loved ones. I found myself unable to focus on my research in isolation while so much was happening out there. Injustices, white privilege, and disinformation. For me, it was challenging to “snap out of it,” as some people may say, but I could not do it so easily. This came to me as a difficult challenge since I had to write my thesis proposal and defend it before the end of the year to become a PhD. Candidate. I felt unable to focus as required in order to accomplish this in a few months. I wanted to quit. To leave everything. To go back home. I did not feel motivated to continue my research and my degree. Indeed, the quarantine lifestyle made my PhD journey even more lonely. It was then when I discovered what accountability was all about. One day, a dear friend from my bachelors invited me to join her accountability group, which met almost every evening via Zoom. In the group were all women from Puerto Rico pursuing their PhD in different Institutions in the US and Puerto Rico in various STEM disciplines. The group is a support system for thriving in our PhD journeys while in a pandemic and working on the computer all day. Everyone in the accountability group was very welcoming, even though each one was basically on the same boat that I was. While joining their study sessions, I felt the solidarity and support I’ve been long missing from my peers. Suddenly, working after hours was fun and less lonely. This accountability group boosted my productivity and my motivation for my research and to keep moving forward. It is a support group and a safe space where we can also express our feelings towards our PhD journey. We all feel happy whenever one of us has good news to share. We also listen to each other whenever we have a bad week and encourage each other to keep going. Now, long into 2021, they are more than my accountability group; they are my friends. My good PhD journey friends. A sisterhood, but also PhD students that understand my struggles as a Latina pursuing a PhD in STEM. We see ourselves as a community, and we are successful when we do things together and support each other. Based on our experience, I think that part of the general academic success conversation should be about having people you can call friends or a close accountability group during your PhD journey. Thank you so much to Lizbeth Dávila-Santiago for sharing her story. If you'd like to submit a story or piece, anonymously or named, fill out our google form or email us at email@phdbalance.com

What’s it like going to school full-time and working full-time? Ask this week’s guest, Mikel! Mikel Joachim is a research program manager with Badger Athletic Performance and a full-time PhD student in Clinical Investigation, both at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Her research broadly focuses on injury prevention and recovery in athletes, with specific expertise in biomechanics and injuries in distance runners. She currently holds a master’s degree in kinesiology and anticipates defending her PhD dissertation in December of 2022. You can find her on Twitter @MikelJoachim. The episode is now available on the PhD Balance YouTube and on all major streaming platforms including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Overcast & Google Podcasts (And more!) Just search "Grad Chat" on your favourite podcast streaming app!

In a field like academia where intelligence and ingenuity are highly valued, the conversations on not meeting those expectations can quickly become toxic. Mental health stigma is rampant in academia, and language contributes by normalizing this discrimination. Avoid propagating the stigma and be a good ally by keeping in mind these ways conversations around mental health can harm rather than help. Types of problems with speaking about mental health: 1) Dismissive Language: Not recognizing their struggles results in invalidating the person and reinforcing the stigma. 2) Misuse of Language: Referring to a person by a mental health descriptor reduces them to their struggle rather than a whole human being. 3) Ableist Language: Inappropriate use of mental health descriptors to describe the intelligence and ability of a person, regardless of their stage in life, are insulting and degrading. If you find yourself wanting to work on improving your use of mental health language, our Speaking team can help your university facilitate this conversation. Write to us at events@phdbalance.com

This week we are super excited to have Elana Gloger, host of Dear Grad Student, sit down with host Courtney to talk about her day-to-day as a health psychology PhD candidate! Elana Gloger (she/her) is a 5th year PhD candidate in the US studying health psychology, specifically the interactions between psychology and our immune systems across the lifespan. She is also the creator and host of the podcast, Dear Grad Student! You can find Elana on Twitter (@elana_gloger) and you can find Dear Grad Student on Twitter (@DearGradStudent), Instagram (@deargradstudentpod), their website and wherever you listen to your podcasts (like Grad School Life!!) The episode is now available on the PhD Balance YouTube and on all major streaming platforms including Spotify, Google Podcasts, Overcast & Apple Podcasts (And more!) Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/OAWM-8anUVg Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1tTBGsgRn0O5bzfMwkyY5k

Last week's episode shared this gem about PhD goals: If you are not careful and don't define what you want to get out of the experience, you can end up pursuing someone elses idea of what your PhD should be... Do you have clear goals with your PhD? In case you missed it, maybe this episode could help you out! Last week we had Erin Berlew, as a guest on Grad Chat to talk about Setting your Goals & Defining Success. Who is Erin? Erin is a PhD candidate in bioengineering at the University of Pennsylvania. Her research focus is on making optogenetic tools to control the cytoskeleton and, more generally, thinking about how to use natural photoreceptors to perturb cell physiology. She is also interested in teaching, lab organization and culture, coding, cats, and Wikipedia deep dives. You can find her on Twitter @eerinberr! The episode is available on the PhD Balance YouTube and on all major streaming platforms including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Overcast & Google Podcasts (And more!) Just search "Grad Chat" on your favourite podcast streaming app!

It's International Women's Day! This year's theme is "Break The Bias" aimed to question gender biases and forge a world where differences are valued and appreciated. Today, and every day, we should be celebrating women's achievements, raising awareness against bias, and taking action for equality. Biases both subtle and overt make it difficult for women to move ahead. Who's ready to Break The Bias? Check out stories and Grad Chat episodes covering Sexism and Bias we have shared over the last few months on our website.

We're excited to announce that we just hit 1000 subscribers on YouTube. Thank you to everyone who has interacted and continues to interact with our content especially Grad Chat and more recently Grad School Life! If you haven't checked out our YouTube Channel yet, you can find it here or just search "PhD Balance" on YouTube! Our channel is where we post our web shows Grad Chat and Grad School Life but it also has meditation-videos, and yoga classes led by the amazing Dr Brittney Uhlorn!

We just launched our brand new podcast and YouTube show: Grad School Life last month! With this new show, we want to have conversations with grad students of all levels and disciplines about their day-to-day lives! Will you be a guest? Fill out our google form.

Questioning yourself are always great times for self reflection and change. This year we will undergo some changes. More to come about it soon! What is really important to you? Have you ever questioned the decision to start grad school or to have specialised in whatever field you are in? And maybe even felt guilty for it? Noticing that there are doubts is important, though! Doubts aren’t a sign of failure but making you aware that something isn’t quite right for you. Take these thoughts as an opportunity to look deeper into your values! What is really important to you? How do you want to work? And how does reality (maybe) currently differ from this? Where do you lose energy, what motivates you? What goals are YOU working towards? Sometimes it can be small adjustments - like structuring your days differently, prioritising a walk in the park during your lunch break or asking for feedback from your PI - that lead to an overall more satisfying day. Want to create your own messages (and support PhD Balance!) with these awesome magnets? Go to the @GeniusLabGear's website and purchase the “PhD Balance Word Magnets” set. $4 of each sale helps support our operating costs! Get yours now! Limited Stocks

Intuitive eating is an eating style that promotes a healthy attitude toward food and body image. It can be used by professionals for eating disorder recovery and has 10 basic principles: 1. Reject diet mentality 2. Honor your feelings 3. Respect your body 4. Make peace with food 5. Focus on how movement makes you feel 6. Honor your health 7. Feel your fullness 8. Challenge the food police 9. Discover the satisfaction of food 10. Honor your hunger